No deposit Car Insurance and Swine Flu

There’s been an outbreak of swine flu throughout the area. Farmers are panicked as the disease continues to spread from farm to farm. Many are resorting to leaving their pig ranches and becoming insurance salesmen. It’s an easy transition from raising swine to selling no deposit car insurance. Selling no deposit car insurance is much easier, so the new job seems like a breeze to the veteran hogsters.

Some people wonder why there is a correlation between no deposit car insurance and hog farming. The answer is simple – there is no correlation, but there is a very good reason so many are making the change. It turns out that hog famers and no deposit car insurance salesmen share the same licence. An insurance salesman can raise pigs and a pig farmer can sell insurance. Sure, there are other occupations that share the same license, like politicians and manure manufacturers, but the pig to insurance career switch is the most common.

When the flu first hit, only a couple of farmers noticed their swine were feeling achy, had a fever and suffered from diarrhea and vomiting. Most pig farmers don’t rest the back of their hand on a pig’s forehead to check their temperature. When the government issued a swine flu alert encouraging all pigs to rest and drink plenty of liquids, the swine-industry just laughed. How can a pig rest any more than they already do? Even healthy hogs just lie in the mud all day and wait for their next meal.

Our town is now swarming with insurance agents and I haven’t had a ham sandwich in weeks. People are starting to lose their tempers at the town meetings. With no farmers raising pork, many citizens have had to resort to soy-bacon for breakfast and that is really starting to cause some problems around here. It seems that too much soy creates flu-like symptoms and now many of the residents just wallow in the mud with the pigs all day. They find the lifestyle relaxing and say the mud really smoothes out the wrinkles on their faces. Many odd relationships have been developing between the pigs and the people as well.

The experts say everything will be back to normal in a few months and not to worry too much about the situation. I believe them because they are “experts” and I’m sure they know what’s best for us all. Just like when they said not to worry about floods that wiped out 90% of our population last year. I didn’t worry about the flooding and I didn’t die. I won’t worry about the swine flu epidemic and I should be just fine.

Meanwhile car insurance premiums have risen another 20% and no deposit insurance salesmen are looking forward to the biggest bonus in history.